Glossary of Terms

Glossary of Terms

CONTRACTOR
- A gambler who never gets to shuffle, cut or deal.B
ID OPENING
- A Poker game in which the losing hand wins.
BID
- A wild guess carried out to two decimal places.
LOW BIDDER
- A contractor who is wondering what he left out.
ENGINEER"S ESTIMATE
- The cost of construction in heaven.
PROJECT MANAGER
- The conductor of an orchestra in which every musician is from a different union.
CRITICAL PATH METHOD
- A management technique for losing your shirt under perfect control.
DELAYED PAYMENT
- A tourniquet applied to the pockets.
COMPLETION DATE
- The point at which liquidated damages begin.
LIQUIDATED DAMAGES
- A penalty for failing to achieve the impossible.
AUDITOR
- People who go in after the war is lost and bayonet the wounded.
LAWYER
- People who go in after the auditors and strip the bodies.